楞嚴経之五 | 如何应对内心的受伤感？

楞嚴経之五 | 如何应对内心的受伤感？ 

Sitanshu Kumar

作者：Sitanshu Kumar

译者：River

Sitanshu Kumar来自印度，他写了一个对《大佛顶首楞严经》的注解。以下是开头部分（后续具体解释经文的部分尚未写成）的一些注解，这里以中英文对照的形式贴出。

今天发出的是第五篇：心的受伤感

I AM HURT

我受伤了

(I wrote this after hearing John Mccain say 'I am hurt'.)
(当我听到约翰•麦凯恩说“我感到受伤”之后，我写了这些。)

Watching the presidential debate, I heard one of the candidates say “I am hurt”. It is one of the very difficult feelings to resolve. If left by itself, the intensity of hurt seems to abate, but like a hidden thorn, it is ready to pop up any time. On the other hand, if we play with hurts without understanding the genesis, we run the risk of magnifying the problem and give rise to host of other disturbances.
在看总统竞选辩论的时候，我听到一个候选人说“我感到受伤”。这是一个非常难以解决的感情之一。如果不管它的话，受伤感的激烈程度似乎在下降，但是就像一个隐藏的荆棘，它随时准备跳出来作怪。另一方面说，如果我们去处理伤害，但是却不了解它的根源，我们就有可能把问题放大，并由此因此一堆其它的混乱。

It is almost physically possible to locate it, somewhere right around the heart. It may bring with it depression or rage, a burning sensation in the mind, an impulse to get even, as the hurt tries to purge itself of the toxic content. In the following section we will examine what goes behind the making of  hurts and if it is possible to transform this gnawing feeling into something else.
我们几乎可以从生理上找到伤害的位置，大约在心脏附近。它可能带来抑郁或者愤怒，一种内心燃烧的感觉，一种要报复的冲动，因为那个伤害在试图清除自身的毒素。在这一节，我们将审视伤害形成背后的过程，以及是否有可能将这种令人苦恼的感情转化为其它东西。

What takes place inside our minds when we experience hurt? To illustrate this let us consider an example. Assume that I am leading a very virtuous life, I am honest and hardworking, never indulging in what is held taboo by the society. As I live, day by day, I do think about myself, compare my life to the ideals that I have held, make some adjustment either to positive or negative, and come to a conclusion that I am doing O.K, the image that I constructed for myself corresponds to reality I live.
在我们感到受伤的时候，我们内心发生了什么呢？为了说明问题，让我们看一个例子。假设我活得很道德，我诚实，努力工作，从来不做社会认为是禁忌的事。我每天这样生活，我也想我自己，将我的生活跟我的理想进行比较，做出正面或负面的评判，并得到结论说我活得还不错。我为自己建立的形象与我的真实生活是吻合的。

I have a good friend whom I have known for years. He thinks very highly of me and the ideals that I hold dear. One day, without myexpectation, he comes charging, and accuses me of being a hypocrite, dishonest and self centered. I am in state of shock. As far as I know, I did hold up to the ideals I held dear. An instant after that, I feel hurt. The deep pain at the center of my heart arises. How can I understand this?
我有一个认识多年的好朋友。他对我和我所崇尚的理想都赞赏有加。有一天，出乎我的意料，他跑来指责我说，我是一个伪君子，不诚实，自我中心。我震惊了。因为据我所知，我确实遵循了我所崇尚的理想。我立即感到受伤了。我内心深深的痛苦升起了。我如何来理解这个呢？

Over time, by repeated thinking, consciously or unconsciously I have made an image about myself by identifying with my ideology, lofty principles and notions of the right course of actions. With thought revolving around theses mental objects, there is a center building up in the psyche, which gives me a feeling of solidity. This solid center is constantly gaining momentum (taking up my energy), assigning itself various qualities like wisdom, goodness etc.一段时间以来，通过不断的思想，有意或无意的，我为自己制造了一个形象，将自己认同于自己的意识形态，高尚的原则，以及正确行动的概念。我的思想围绕着这些心理对象，在我的内心形成了一个中心，它给了我一种厚实的感觉。这个坚实的中心在不断获得力量（吸收我的能量），并给自己赋予各种品质，例如智慧，善良等等。

A couple of harsh sentences from an old friend act like a needle in a balloon causing the air inside gush out at a great speed. The sudden deflation of the balloon is the immense pain I feel, as my psychic energies try to re-distribute themselves. The shaken center wants to come down, to disintegrate, and my resistance to it is the pain, a revolt against the sudden emptiness.
一个老朋友几句刻薄的话，就象一根针刺到了气球上，导致里面的空气迅速的排出。气球的突然破裂，就是我感受到的巨大痛苦，我的心理能量在试图重新分配。那个被动摇了的中心要降下来，要解散，而我对此的抵制就是那个痛苦，一种对突如其来的空虚的反叛。

Immediately following the pain is the justification and recrimination. My friend after all, harbored a secret jealousy towards me, he could not countenance my high ideals, he was always critical of me at my back. It is the fault of my judgment, but there is nothing wrong with me.
痛苦来临后，我立即开始辩护与反责。于是我想，我的朋友不过是在偷偷的嫉妒我，他不认同我的崇高理想，他总是在背后批评我。是我认错朋友了，我本身并没有错。

All this is an attempt by the center to re-inflate itself. This whole process may go onfor days, or months, sucking a large quantity of energy. Slowly it may taper off, as the mind gets entangled in other problems. The center is bruised, but still intact, and the next time it will be more careful.
所有这些都是那个中心在试图把自己重新吹起来。这个过程可能会持续很多天，很多个月，吸走大量的能量。慢慢的它可能逐渐减弱，我们的心开始纠缠于其它的问题。那个中心被擦伤了，但是它还在那，下一次它会更小心。

What is the solution to this unfolding drama? Is it possible to be aware of the pain and the ensuing reverberations in the mind? The reverberations are an escape from the pain. Is it possible to be in direct contact with the searing pain? I think it is very difficult for most of us. Why? As a living species we instinctively try to deflate physical pain. At the psychological level, it is also part of what society teaches us. By avoiding pain once, it may make it doubly worse the next time.这个闹剧如何能被解决呢？我们是否有可能觉知到这个痛苦以及接下来的内心余波呢？那些余波是对痛苦的逃避。是否有可能与灼热的痛苦直接接触呢？我认为这对我们多数人来说是非常困难的。为什么呢？作为一个生物的物种，我们的本能是立即消除生理的痛苦。而在心理层面，这也是社会所教给我们的。但是一次对痛苦的回避，它会使得下一次两倍的糟糕。

面对受伤感，我们可以怎么做？

01

Step1：尽量保持中立

Be aware of the pain and your reaction to it (pretty much everything that arises in your mind after the initial pain is a reaction). Be as neutral as possible, neither tilting towards the pain nor towards the escape. See all the tricks the mind is spinning into.
觉知那个痛苦以及你对它的反应（在最初的痛苦之后，你内心升起的一切基本上都是反应）。尽量保持中立，既不倾向于痛苦，也不倾向于逃避。观察内心围绕它施展的所有伎俩。

Because of the momentum in the sub-stratum, this can go on for a while. If not the pain, then try to experience the escape fully, noticing all the nuances, subtlety and swiftness of the mind. Also notice that how the mind is unable to pacify itself. In the end, it can give up because of sheer exhaustion, when it runs out of the fuel propelling it forward.
由于内心底层的冲力，这可能会持续一段时间。试图充分去体验那些逃避，注意到内心的所有细致，微妙与迅速。也注意到内心在安慰上的无能为力。最后，它可能会因疲惫不堪而放弃，当它耗尽了推动它的燃料。

02

Step 2：充分去体验它

Once the mind has emptied itself of experiencing the escape, it may move back to the pain. This time on, try to experience the pain fully. It may last some days,may be more, try not to shake it off, but be with it. The remarkable thing is that pain is like a dragon which changes its form depending on how you perceive (approach) it. The closer you can get to the pain (the mind will try to distract you, closer here means lesser distraction) the better the chances are for it to get resolved sooner.
当你的心在体验逃避方面清空了自己，你就可以回到痛苦本身。这一次，试图充分体验那个痛苦。它也许会持续一些天，也许更久。不要试图把痛苦去掉，而是要与它在一起。有意思的是，痛苦就象一条变色龙，它的形态随着你看它（对待它）的方式而变化。你离它越近（你的心会试图转移注意力，这里的近是指不被转移），它更早的消散的可能性就越大。

As I have remarked earlier, there is a great resistance to pain. In the case of physical pain, it is somewhat understandable, all living creatures have it. If you have noticed, children recover from psychological hurts much more quickly. Adults, since they analyze, dissect, plan and brood over the pain, show much less flexibility in dealing with it.
我前面说过，我们对痛苦有巨大的抵抗。对于生理的痛苦，这多少是可以理解的，所有生物都会如此。如果你注意的话，你会发现儿童能从心理伤害中快得多的恢复。

The root cause of hurts is the mind getting conditioned to making images, and doing it with remarkable efficiency. In fact, a lot of our interaction with people happens through images, as if we are wearing colored glasses which is filtering everything coming in. Our experience of hurts adds to this filter that we carry, strengthening, expanding and making it more sensitive.伤害的根源，是因为心习惯于制造形象，而且对此极为擅长。事实上，我们与他人的许多互动都是通过形象完成的，仿佛我们是戴着有色眼镜，过滤我们所看到的一切。我们受伤的经验进一步加在这个过滤镜上，加强它，扩大它，使它更为敏感。

Since there is no pill we can take to get rid of this pain, we may as well work through it.因为世界上没有灵丹妙药能让我们去掉这个痛苦，我们还不如充分去体验它。

Meditation

冥想

May all be protected
愿所有人都被保护
from a wounded heart
免于心灵的伤害
may the ensuing flames of
愿那随之而起的
anger, revenge and numbness
愤怒、复仇的火焰，以及冷荒感
be transformed into
被传化为
all embracing love
拥抱一切的爱
mother divine
神圣的母性
show us your benevolent form
显现你那慈善的面目
beings suffering from hurt
在伤害中痛苦的众生
how can they become
他们如何能够变成
vehicles of peace?
和平的载体
let my hurt transform into
让我的伤害转化成
strength to embrace
all creation
拥抱整个宇宙的力量